The Ballad Of John & Yoko
John Lennon & Paul McCartney (Performed by The Beatles)

Standing in the dock at Southampton
Trying to get to Holland or France
The man in the Mac said "You've gotta go back"
You know they didn't even give us a chance

Christ you know it ain't easy
You know how hard it can be
The way things are going
They're gonna crucify me

Finally made the plane into Paris
Honeymooning down by the Seine
Peter Brown called to say "You can make it okay
"You can get married in Gibraltar near Spain".

Christ you know it ain't easy
You know how hard it can be
The way things are going
They're gonna crucify me

Drove from Paris to the Amsterdam Hilton
Talking in our beds for a week
The newspapers said "Say, what're you doing in bed?"
I said, "We only try to get us some peace"

Christ you know it ain't easy
You know how hard it can be
The way things are going
They're gonna crucify me.

Saving up your money for a rainy day
Giving all your clothes to charity
Last night the wife said "Oh boy when you´re dead
You don´t take nothing with you but your soul - think!"

Made a lightning trip to Vienna
Eating chocolate cakes in a bag
The newspapers said "She's gone to his head
They look just like two gurus in drag"

Christ you know it ain't easy
You know how hard it can be
The way things are going
They're gonna crucify me

Caught the early plane back to London
Fifty acrons tied in a sack
The men from the press said "We wish you success
It's good to have the both of you back"

Christ you know it ain't easy
You know how hard it can be
The way things are going
They're gonna crucify me
The way things are going
They're gonna crucify me
The way things are going
They're gonna crucify me.

©Northern Songs Ltd.

Pozn.:Tato autobiografická píseň popisuje peripetie kolem svatby Johna a Yoko. Poté co ztroskotal jejich plán uskutečnit obřad na trajektu do Francie a nepodařilo se jim ani zajistit obřad v Paříži, odletěl netrpělivý Lennon s Yoko soukromým letadlem na Gibraltar, kde byli 20.března 1969 oddáni. Johnovi šel za svědka obchodní manažer Apple Petr Brown, kterému se dostalo té pocty, že se o něm John zmínil v textu písně. Je zajímavé, že se Lennon rozhodl ke svatbě pouhé dva dny poté co se s Lindou Eastmanovou oženil Paul McCartney.
Po svatebním obřadu oba novomanželé odletěli do Amsterdamu, kde v hotelu Hilton zahájili svou proslulou postelovou mírovou kampaň. Zážitky ze svatby ještě téhož roku Lennon zúročil na svém třetím sólovém albu The Wedding Album. Přestože je The Ballad řazena mezi písně od Beatles, tak si na ni George ani Ringo nezahráli. Lennon ji natočil pouze s Paulem McCartneym, který zasedl za bicí a obstaral i basovku, piano a maracas. Stejně jako Strawberry Fields vyšla The Ballad nejdříve na singlu s Harrisonovou Old Brown Shoe a poté na albu Beatles Hey Jude.